Friday, September 7, 2012

How To Survive A Garden Gnome Attack

This was a nice quick read a couple weeks ago.  It only took me two days, start to finish, which, the way I read and rotate through books, is amazingly fast.  In part it was because it was short, only about 100 pages, and many of them had large pictures.  More importantly, it was just too amusing to put down.  The premise is that gnome attacks are a widespread, undiscussed problem, and this is the definitive survival manual.  The author advocates, among other things, digging moats and placing quicksand (recipe provided - it needs maple syrup!) around your house to trap any approaching gnomes.  Once captured, the best way to "dispose" of them is to encase them in concrete...

I'm sure there are very similar books out there for zombie attacks, but this was the first I had heard dealing with gnomes. I wonder if there's a gnome subculture out there as there is for zombies, but I suspect not.  The author has evidently been asked many times where he got the idea (hey, that's exactly what my dad was asking as I read it!), and he answers that it was a snapshot of a movie that creeped him out.  So I suspect he made it up.  He also has an amusing blog on the subject over here.

I kinda want to buy a garden gnome now.  Since my sister also read this, it could "appear" in various places to scare her!

4/5 stars for pure creativity; probably won't buy it, but it was worth a read

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